Pamelite Fantasy Football 2022 - Mid-Season Recap

Pamelite Fantasy Football 2022 - Mid-Season Recap

So I bought a domain and started this ol thing so we can rock and roll a little bit again.  The podcast might make an appearance at some point here again. But for now I can throw some shit on a page a little bit easier, and hopefully it will quench that taste on your tongue for the spice like taste in your bones for the bass.

Here were go.

Not that I had any misconceptions about who the Steelers were, or what they were capable of coming into Week 8, but this was the moment I knew the season was over.  AJ Brown, in an Eagles uniform, scoring 3 TDs in the first half. Pointing at the Steelers secondary, reminding them that JV football games are usually played on Monday afternoons, not Sundays.

Of course the first inkling that this was not gonna be good was when TJ Watt got hurt at the end of that Cinci game, one that I still haven't quite wrapped my head around.  I mean he single handedly got the season off to a 1-0 start.  As far as production, the guy had 22.5 sacks last year, and right now the Steelers are on pace to finish the year with only 32 for our entire team.  

To me though, the absence of a hall of fame quarterback in the huddle simply cannot be overstated.  A lot of people were quick to denounce Big Ben as a capable quarterback.  Just as many viewed him as an actual liability - he just doesn't have an NFL arm anymore... he can barely move in the pocket... it's time to move on...  

But what he lacked in physical ability at the end though, I think he more than made up for with knowledge and guts.  The intellect and experience to read a defense, to make the right read, to know when to take a risk or when not to take one (this may or may not be true), and especially to have the balls to hear a play called in from his OC and say, nah, fuck that... for like, 2 or 3 plays in a row.  Or games.  Or seasons.

I'm not saying we would be better with him at quarterback this year, but I'm worried our road back to that level could be a long one. And it sucks balls.  

Ok, so we're off to a blazing, and completely not-at-all depressing start for the first Pamelite Fantasy Football.com write-up.   

So onto other NFL shit that's interesting in the first half of the year!

First Half of the Season Interesting Shit

1. Saquon Barkely is doing his thing.  I really don't know how long it will last, and I'm a little scared to think too hard about it, so I'm just enjoying the ride.  He has somehow turned Dan Jones into something more than just Gifford's 2020 fantasy draft mistake, and the Giants are the talk of the town, at least for now.  An OBJ reunion could make things a lot more interesting, although I don't see it.
2. Christian McCaffrey headed back to the Bay Area.  When I heard about this trade I just pictured Stanford man John Lynch sitting back in some leather chair muttering and twitching until, god help him, he couldn't help but pull the trigger and bring his boy home.  Are the niners a super bowl contender with CMC this year?  I kind of doubt it.  But I like the move by Lynch going for it anyway.  And finally The Night Ranger may finally find fantasy relevance as something more than a dump off option on a shitty team.  After one week in the red and gold, this looks like it could be fun to watch.  
3. WR, WR, WR.  This year in both NFL games and Fantasy, it seems more than ever to be the year of the receiver.  Taking guys like Kupp, Jefferson, Tyreek, Diggs, AJ Brown in the top rounds - even Ja'Marr Chase and Davante Adams when healthly - seems to be paying off.  Offense is down slightly in the NFL vs the past few years, but the top WR are still racking up huge numbers. 
4. The Buffalo Bills rule.
5. Aside from them, it seems like nobody knew anything about who was going to be good.

• Teams we thought would suck but are good - Vikings, Seahawks, the whole NFC East except Washington, Tennessee, Miami
  
  
• Teams we thought would be good but suck - Colts, Chargers, the whole AFC North, Denver (they shot me in Denver), Packers, Buccaneers, Rams, Cardinals

         That's more than half the league right there.

First Half of the Season Non-Interesting Shit

1. Thursday Night Football  

          Are you fucking kidding me with this.

Recap of Fantasy Teams - In order of Standings through Week 8

1. Kaptain Karbomb (6-2) -  Computer generated team.  
   
   
2. Here We Go (6-2) - Through the first half of the season Mike has got to be the comeback player of the year by a mile.  I mean fuck, he wasn't even in the league last year.  This would be like if Antonio Brown came back to the NFL next season, but like, got better than he even used to be.  It would be totally be shocking, and a little weird.. but here we are.  Mike is tearing shit up, and honestly for my money had a solid fucking draft and is playing the waiver wire like he means to do something this year.  The Mike Williams injury is a little painful right now, but the Deandre Hopkins stash is going to pay huge dividends, Josh Allen in the 1st round looks smart, and slowly he's built up some decent RB bench depth.  

          The only other comeback player of the year candidate you can even IMAGINE mentioning right now is Kinny, who won the Philly cup last year and now sits in 1st place - however, he is disqualified from all such honors in my book (see previous team recap).  

     3. Team Sloppy (5-3) - Ahhh Sloppy .  My long time nemisis in the Pamelite Fantasy Football League.  I got you this year though ya old fuck.  Sloppy started off 1-2 then ripped off 4 in a row to get himself going.  Propelled by Austin Ekeler, who shook off some rust early on to retake elite fantasy status.  Off a recent trade to acquire DJ Moore, his performance hangs in the balance of a now healthy (?) Deandre Swift, Chris Godwin, and whether or not Kyle Pitts can get his groove back.  Stella did.  So I'm guessing Pitts is jonesin.

     4. Team Hufman (4-4) - Sitting at 2-3 Hufman was sweating all the C++ a nerd can muster, but mister #1 in total PF found his way back to mount .500 with a showdown looming with 4-4 Team Monks. The defending champ has the horses at WR with Justin Jefferson, AJ Brown and (maybe) Tee Higgins, and managed to break some hearts along the way, as he's known to do,  by grabbing Barkely in the mid-2nd.  Dude looks poised for another run at a title defense, and I hate it.  I know you hate it.  

    5. Team Worry About it (4-4) - This guy really hates it.  After coming one point short in the championship last year that I'm sure he hasn't gotten over, Simon has been plotting his revenge.  A Patrick Mahomes / Travis Kelce stack is a good start.  Brandin Cooks just quit football though it's gonna have to be Tyler Lockett and Tony Pollard to pick up the slack. However, a larger looming question on everybody's mind remains - will a wedding ring bring Simon the power to set his playoff lineup this year, or is history doomed to repeat itself?

    6. Team Tubbs (4-4) - Ol Tubbsinator poondog.  Lamar Jackson has cooled off and Jonathan Taylor is watching football from the sidelines, but as fantasy luck would have it. Kenneth                     Eugene Walker, the Third, and Travis Eatmybutthole have slid into near RB1 status overnight. Rashod Bateman's season ending IR shoves Duvernay into the spotlight in Baltimore.  The bright light of hope still shines in Harrisburg as he takes on 5-3 Sloppy in week 9.

    7. Team Gifford SP (4-4) - Ever one to go with the wily veterans, Gifford has clawed back into the playoff picture after a slow start.  Aaron Rodgers is pissed, and who can blame him.  But Aaron Jones has stepped up and Kittle has started Kittling.  Mike Evans still does Mike Evans things.  Wide Receiver injuries have been part of the story though this season for Gifford. Bateman is done, and Hollywood Brown is still out another month after a red hot start.  If we've learned anything though, Hollywood Brown will fuck you in the end.  Just ask Simon.

    8. The Chub (4-4) - Mark Andrews and Cooper Kupp are two of the top 4 fantasy players in wins above-replacement through 8 weeks.  The other two?  Travis Kelce and Josh Allen.  So a solid foundation for Chuba.  The rest of the lineup is a tossup week to week, but maybe that's enough to get Chuba into the dance. 

    9. Team GWB Throws Heat (4-4) - Indeed he does Monks.  Indeed he does.  This may be the longest Monks has ever kept a team name. And whatever your opinion of George W Bush, when the lights shone the brightest after one of our nation's darkest hours, he brought the cannon to Yankee Stadium.  I honestly believe this is what Monks was channeling when he rocketed that bagel onto the Minnesota baseball field that fine Saturday afternoon in Minneapolis.  Oh, and Monks beat Simon week 8.  

    10. Team The Paul (3-5) - Two wins in a row followed by five losses is rough.  I'm keeping the faith with second most PF and the fact that the league standings are  tight.  Tyreek Hill isn't  2018 AB, but he may be the next closest thing I've seen based on eye test alone.  Two TDs aint gonna cut it though.  If Derrick Henry and Jalen Hurts keep doing what they've been doing I think I got a shot to dance.  Gimme Breece Hall back and I'll do the fucking macarena.  Luckily for everyone that's not happening. And Gronk should be coming back any day now.  Any day.  

We scrap on.

    11. Have Some (3-5) - Wilson's team is better than the record shows, and Hufman has analytics to prove it.  Fuckin nerd.  Wilson has  got solid WR with Deebo, St Brown and Captain Kirk, and Jusitn Herbert and Dalvin Cook have to have a better second half.  Right?  I got him here  week 9 so the verdict is:  Nope.  Fight me, I've been drinking all day Wilson.

    12. Mohney Mohney (1-7) - Absolutely destroyed by injuries and bad luck.  Javonte Williamss, done.  Keenan Allen, can't get on the field.  JK Dobbins, hurt, plays, then hurt again.  Najee Harris, not getting 47 dump off passes a game this year, and Steelers don't have a passing game to support a running game.  Or an o-line. The fantasy outlook is not great.  But does anyone else have a son that went 7-1 in 7th grade football this year?? 

Life ain't so bad. 

The Fifth Quarter

First down - Daylight savings time is upon us.  This weekend we turn back the clock fellas.  And in honor of that, I present to you Mark Davis.  Who looks like amazingly like a third grader in 1994.  And honestly, who's living better than a 3rd grader in 1994?

Second down - Chase Claypool to the Bears.  I'm really not sure what to make of this. 

Third down -  Hollidaysburg may have finished 2-8 this year.  But there is still a victory to be celebrated.  Superintendent Bob Gildea announced at halftime at the homecoming game, in a weird video, that he was approached by an old man during his first week on the job in 2013.  He assumed the man would, like everyone else, congratulate him on his appointment to the position - but was stunned when the old man asked... Dr. Gildea, will you please take down those poles!!!!!!!!!

Fulfilling a 10 year promise, he is pledging to raise money to move back the light poles in the stadium and eliminate obstructed views for future Golden Tiger fans for years to come. 

Touchdown - You didn't ask for it, but here is a 16 minute breakdown of all the fight scenes in Roadhouse.

Written while sitting in my basement watching shitty Thursday night football, as Dallas Goedert put up 24 points on my fantasy team.